Today marks the release of the film, Star Trek, a reboot of the hoary, 43 year-old sci-fi franchise created by the late Gene Roddenberry.  To commemorate the occasion, I bring you the whore-y YouTube mash-up, Trek Turner, featuring original Star Trek cast member Nichelle Nichols. 

The role of Lt. Uhura,  the regal communications officer of the USS Enterprise, defined Nichelle Nichols’ career, but she played completely against type as Dorinda, a vengeful, foul-mouthed madame in the 1974 Isaac Hayes Blaxploitation vehicle, Truck Turner (no pun intended).  The venomous verbal tirades Dorinda launches at her stable of prostitutes are some of the most deliciously profane moments ever committed to celluloid, so, like peanut butter and chocolate, it was only a matter of time before someone brought Truck and Trek together.  In this case, snippets of Nichols’ Truck Turner dialogue are synched with clips of the cartoon Lt. Uhura from Star Trek: The Animated Series and, needless to say, the results are more than a little NSFW:

So far, everything I’ve seen of the new J.J. Abrams-helmed Star Trek looks really good, but there are legions of Star Trek devotees who are a lot more zealous about these matters than I am. 

The new cast may have a tough hill to climb bringing in new fans to the franchise, while pleasing the vast army of long-time Trekkers, but I think they just might pull it off.  So, best of luck to Zoe Saldana, Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, and Karl Urban and the rest of the crew…”Now get out there and make it look good!”

- JEP