OFF-TOPIC MONDAYS: The USS Enterprise Or The Millennium Falcon?
Welcome to a new, semi-recurring feature on WORLDOFHURTONLINE.COM: Off-Topic Mondays. Occasionally, I have ideas, questions, or notions that I can’t even tangentially relate to Blaxploitation, and since it would be irresponsible to litter the Intenet landscape with another blog, I came up with Off-Topic Mondays, with all apologies to Gangstarr Girl’s Blaxploitation Friday. The first entry in the series does kind of deal with the 1970s and genre fiction, but unless you want to have Billy Dee Williams in the captain’s seat, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with Blaxploitation. Now give me one second to proudly unfurl my geek flag and here we go:
VS.
You’ve got three days to get across the galaxy. Which would you rather travel in to reach your destination, the flagship of the Federation, the USS Enterprise (pick whichever model you want), or the Corellian freighter, the Millennium Falcon?
Personally, I’d buy a seat on the Millennium Falcon. I figure it would smell like a curious blend of patchouli, motor oil, curry and wet fur, and I’d guess that your sleeping compartment would be separated from the others by a measly set of beaded curtains, but the trip would be pretty cool. You probably wouldn’t even make it to your planned destination, but all the fun would be in the journey itself. Han would tell awesome stories; I’m sure he’d know the best places to stop, eat, and drink along the way (I mean delicious, authentic, ethnic/alien food served at crappy hole-in-the-wall joints); and more than likely, he’d even let you fly the ship for a while.
With the Enterprise, you’d be guaranteed to reach your final port of call, and the crew would be polite and efficient, but the experience would be a little antiseptic. I’m sure later models of the Enterprise could even replicate a tasty Applebee’s entree for you, if you so desired. However, even if something interesting happened along the way, you wouldn’t know it, because some well-groomed crew member would hustle you off to your cabin at the first sign of danger, spout some techno-babble by way of explanation, and lock the door behind him on the way out. Yawn!
Now let the nerd wankery begin!
- JEP
Is picking the Millenium Falcon like saying I’d rather ride in Bandit’s Trans Am or the Duke boys’ General Lee than in Bond’s Aston Martin? Plus, Han Solo was hotter than James Kirk.
I’d go with the Enterprise — specifically, the Enterprise of James Tiberius Kirk. Crew ladies in mini-skirts, baby!
I am going with the Enterprise. Why? B/c I think its would be better maintained. The sleeping quarters would be better. Two words Holo Deck. What I have to were a red shirt? Uhhh.. hey Han I changed my mind can I catch a ride.
Depends on how many parsecs I have to reach my destination.
Guess Who?- I’d say it’s closer to the General Lee than the Bandit’s Trans Am. The Trans Am didn’t even have a name. For an inanimate object, the General Lee at least had something resembling a personality, which put it one up on Jessica Simpson in the remake.
Charlie – I thought Leia’s Hoth snowsuit was pretty fetching.
TPM – Valid points, but as far as the Holo Deck goes, you could stay home for virtual fun. What’s the point in exploring the galaxy if you’re gonna have your nose buried in a video game?
Ramon – It can make the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs. That
fastfar enough for ya, old man?- JEP
And don’t forget that the Gen. Lee is a paint job and a flying-duck hood ornament away from one of Stuntman Mike’s cars in “Death Proof.” How’s that for personality?
Which means I’m going Falcon — just the stuff accidentally left in the cargo holds would make it one long, strange trip.
Thanks alot, Doug G! Now you’ve got me imagining the General Lee’s rear tires grinding off Lulu Coltrane Hogg’s face as it hurtles over Boss Hogg’s Cadillac convertible while blaring “Dixie.”
- JEP
Do I need to point out the irony of talking so much about the Genral Lee ( basically a confederate flag with wheels ) on a site about Blaxploitation?
Although usually the Confederate battle flag is displayed in the name of hate disguised as “heritage,” and it fills me with sadness and disgust, for some reason it doesn’t bother me on The General Lee. As a kid, I even had the toy with the top that flipped open so you could slip Bo and Luke behind the wheel. I guess I have a strange, ideological blind spot when it comes to The General Lee.
- JEP
I’d have to ride the FALCON, hands down! The Enterprise is cool, yes, but it never made the KESEL run within 12 parsecs…
Falcon. This ain’t no pleasure cruise!
Carl Sagan’s Starship of the Imagination trumps all…
Rodbuddah & AWM-
Now I know who I’d want to go on a road trip with!
Ramon-
No, that would be the TARDIS. Yeah, I just got my full geek-on!!
All this talk of the General Lee is bringing back memories. My freshman college roommate and I were watching Johnny Quest on his portable TV one Saturday morning when we heard a loud crash outside the dorm. All 500 or so of the student body came out to investigate — and discovered what we later learned was the General Lee crashed on a curb on the quad. This was 1979 (I think), and they were filming scenes for the pilot for the Dukes of Hazzard at Oxford College of Emory University (about 30 miles outside Hotlanta).
There were three or four of the General Lees in use. At least a couple of them didn’t run very well. We all watched as they jumped one of them in front of Seney Hall — a scene that became immortalized in the program’s opening credits. In real life, the car broke an axle and lost one of its front tires when it landed.
Also got to watch Boss Hawg and Aenus film a scene with the famous long-horned Cadillac outside the school’s student center. Now THAT was a load of fun!
It just dawned on me that this is an old, old conversation — and most likely ain’t nobody ever going to see this. But just for the sake of accuracy (which is a good thing): upon further reflection, I remember that it was actually one of the Hazzard police cars that ran up on the quad curb — and not the General.
But the rest of it is right. And the General did indeed lose a tire upon landing.
Charlie-
Actually, as the site administrator, I can tell you that at least one person finds this post everyday by doing a Google search for “millennium falcon,” so your comments won’t go unnoticed.
I saw the Dukes Of Hazzard pilot for the first time a few years back and the use of location filming gave it a very distinct feel that was missing from the later episodes shot in the hills of southern California. It’s neat to know that you were there, but thanks for ruining my adolescent belief that the General Lee always emerged unscathed. You stole my childhood. *Sigh*
- JEP