Archive for ‘Blog’


“Tea” Stands For Trouble

Marvin Gaye - Trouble Man album cover


There’s only three things that’s for sure/Taxes, death and trouble/This I know, baby...

- Marvin Gaye, from the theme to the motion picture Trouble Man, 1972

 

All the conservative teabaggers who suddenly found Fiscal Jesus on Wednesday after staying silent for eight years while a Republican president and Republican-led Congress turned the biggest surplus in American history into the biggest deficit in American history could do themselves a big favor by listening to Marvin.  Marvin spoke the truth.  Marvin spoke prophecy on his own life.  You see, for all his artistic genius, Marvin had a bad habit of failing to pay his taxes, so in 1981, one of America’s greatest songwriters fled to Europe to escape his tax problems.   Marvin Gaye learned the hard way that taxes are the membership dues we pay as American citizens.  Membership has its privileges, so as you upgrade from Gold to Platinum Club status, expect to pay a little more in dues, because you’ve reaped more of the benefits of the relative peace, stability, safety, and opportunities afforded by living in this country.

Look, it’s not that I like paying taxes.  Nobody likes paying taxes, because we feel that it’s hard-earned money out of our own pockets that could be better spent on candy, gum, DVDs, or booze.   But, if you claim to want a strong military, secure borders, educated kids, bridges that don’t collapse underneath you in the middle of rush hour, reliable electricity, food that won’t kill/maim/ mutate your children, and a non-barter based economy subject to the whims of Master Blaster and Auntie Entity, then expect to put a little in the plate so we can all pool our resources to pay for it.  Except for certain Oxycontin-addled blowhards and the Fox “News” talking heads who pushed the idea of Teabag Parties, most of us can’t afford to pay for that stuff a la carte!

Who Run Barter Town?

Who Run Barter Town?

That’s it for now.  Thanks for joining me for my first big week.  See you next week with a new strip and a look at Cadillac Jones’ “The Big Takedown.”

 - JEP


Straight To The Top!

According to Google, you – yes, YOU – made WORLD OF HURT the Internet’s #1 Blaxploitation-themed webcomic!  Enter “blaxploitation” and “webcomic” and see what you get.  Go ahead, I’ll wait…

Are you back?  See?  NUMBAH ONE!!

Together, we beat out such stalwart competition as Maurice Fontenot’s Ghost Pimp (DON’T CLICK THAT LINK!!) and…well, that’s about it.  Sure it’s a small pool, but the Internet is HUGE!  I’ll take what I can get at this point.

Don’t think for one second that “The Internet’s #1 Blaxploitation-themed webcomic” isn’t going in the header. 

Bring it, Fontenot!

- JEP


“The Big Takedown”


Cadillac Jones in..."The Big Takedown"

Music defined the era of Blaxploitation filmmaking as much as the garish fashions, punchy, profane dialogue, or lurid, pulpy plots.  Ron O’Neal’s Youngblood Priest would still have been a fly-ass hustler in his Flagg Brothers boots and giant ‘71 Cadillac Eldorado (complete with customized Rolls Royce grill), but it was Curtis Mayfield’s soulful yet gritty soundtrack that made him “Super Fly.”  Richard Roundtree’s hard-chargin’, hard-lovin’, take-no-bullshit portrayal of John Shaft in a time when audiences just didn’t see confident, powerful, sexual Black men on the silver screen, was the pack of dynamite beneath the Blaxploitation revolution, but it was Isaac Hayes’ theme that’s kept the flame burning three decades later.  Just like you can’t think of James Bond without humming the first notes of Monty Norman’s “James Bond Theme,” whenever you think of John Shaft that famous hi-hat and the funky wah-wah guitar riff inevitably comes strutting through your head.

So what would happen if you wrote a Blaxploitation soundtrack but didn’t have a movie to go with it?  Would it still work?  According to the band Cadillac Jones, the answer is “Yes.” In 2006, the Atlanta, GA-based jazz-funk group released the concept album The Big Takedown.  The concept?  The Big Takedown is the soundtrack for a previously unreleased Blaxploitation-era movie.  The band even has a link to the “original movie treatment” posted on their site.  The treatment is a weathered, stained, hole-punched, 3-page document that looks like it was drafted on a real typewriter, reproduced on carbon paper, then run through a mimeograph machine multiple times(You can almost smell the purple ink!), and buried in a stack of old Ebony and Jet magazines for 25 years before it was finally posted on their site.

The “movie’s” plot is a seedy little crime thriller involving Ike Power, a gangster prodigal son returning to a dangerous, corrupt, unnamed city after being away for several years.  He’s returning at the request of his old boss and surrogate father, Earl “Tarzan” Watkins, in order to wrap up some unfinished business.  (I particularly liked the touch that Ike spent his exile with family in Barbados.  It’s a nice unexpected touch that adds a layer of depth to his character.)

The secondary concept behind Cadillac Jones’ concept album is that every song is intended to accompany each scene from the movie, so we get to follow Ike’s journey through this dark criminal underworld with Cadillac Jones right beside him, slinking, grooving, and swinging from one song to the next.  For example, the first cut, titled “Intro” is only 26 seconds long, but it sets the tone of the story by just employing the sound of an airplane landing as the muted cacophony of an airport terminal rumbles in the background.  In short, it tells us Ike Power has arrived.  The next cut, “Narq,” starts off with a “tsah-tsah-ta-tsah” hi-hat reminiscent of “The Theme from Shaft” before a guitar and brass kick in.  ”Narq” then segues into a nice,  jazzy groove that rolls along for the balance of the song.  ”Narq” is obviously Ike Power’s theme, and the band even closes out the album with “Return Of The Narq,” a slower, more haunting adaptation of the opening number, that you could easily see playing over the closing credits of The Big Takedown.

One of my favorite aspects of The Big Takedown is Cadillac Jones’ use of a REAL horn section!  The brass is used to great effect throughout the album, adding rich, brassy, funky flourishes, particularly in the mid-tempo head-bopper “Power.”  ”Ike’s Regret” begins with a mournful baritone saxophone as a subway train rattles in the background.  The sax actually sends you back further in time to a 1950s noir film instead of a Blaxploitation movie.  If The Big Takedown had any drawback it would be scattered anachronistic touches like this or the occasional use of scratching, that pull the listener out of the ’70s era the album is meant to evoke.  When the album’s third song “Tarzan” introduces Beastie Boys “Brass Monkey”-ish scratching early into the cut, I felt like Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap, lurching from the era of bellbottoms and fringed vests to a time of Kangols and dookie rope chains.  

Overall, I felt The Big Takedown was a tremendously successful concept album.  Although I generally prefer my funk a little more propulsive and grimy than jazz-flavored, Cadillac Jones kept me hooked from beginning to end.  The Big Takedown is not available on iTunes, but that’s to the advantage of you and your local record store.  You really need to enjoy The Big Takedown as a cohesive whole with plot in hand, in the song order laid out by the band, because it makes the listening experience even better.  When you do, give me a call.  I’ll bring the popcorn.

- JEP


“Scheme, Scheme, Plot, Plot/I’m Comin’ For That Number One Spot…”

Ever since WORLD OF HURT claimed the title of “The Internet’s #1 Blaxploitation Webcomic!,” cats have been comin’ out the woodwork to steal back the spot. 

Last week I warned you about Maurice Fontenot running Ghost Pimp over on the Act-I-Vate stroll. (WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CLICKING LINKS?)  Now this dude John Aston is also rising up out of South Carolina with an homage to the Pam Grier oevre called Rachel Rage.  The site’s been active since last year, so it has a pretty deep archive.  (SO HELP ME, IF YOU CLICK THAT LINK…).  I’ve had discussions with both these guys, and we’ve decided to handle this like gentlemen…for now.  However, if any one of y’all even consider going to those sites, leaving comments, or THINK about going here or here (DON’T ! I AIN’T PLAYIN’!) to buy their merchandise, this could explode into some vile gangsta shit, real quick!

- JEP


“Funkemporium!”

Gotta give some link love to The Museum of Uncut Funk!  

Described by curator Pamela Thomas, aka “Sister Tofunky,” as “The planet’s first virtual museum dedicated to the celebration and preservation of the FUNK!,” The Museum of Uncut Funk has more galleries than the Smithsonian Institution.  Before you click the link, get yourself a two-day pass and pack a lunch, ’cause you’ll definitely be there a while and you’ll STILL have to come back for more.  

The Museum of Uncut Funk is split into approximately 7 different virtual “galleries.”  The galleries spin off from the main collection.  Each gallery focuses on a different aspect of 70’s Black pop culture, and most combine the blog format with permanent exhibits dedicated to that focus.  My favorite gallery is sort of a hodge-podge, catch-all for Ms. Thomas, entitled “Can’t Get Enough…Of that Funky Stuff Blog,” however I also dug the “Jim Kelly Exhibit,” for its breezy, but informative, multi-media look at the man’s life and career .  Each gallery boasts a wide array of funky memorabilia from Ms. Thomas’ personal collection, like Blaxploitation movie posters, Blaxploitation soundtrack album cover art,  and Blaxploitation-themed comic books.  One of the most interesting aspects of The Museum of Uncut Funk is that every exhibit contains at least one “Where The Hell Did She Get That?” entry.  I thought I knew a little something about Blaxploitation culture, but Sister ToFunky humbles even the most jaded collector with unexpected treasures like the Egyptian poster for Sheba Baby  or original production art from an aborted Hanna-Barbera cartoon called The Blackstones. (Think The Flintstones, but…y’know, Black.)  

Along with the fun, Ms. Thomas’ site includes sobering glimpses of how Blacks were depicted before we had the means and opportunities to control our images with an exhibit showcasing pre-Civil Rights era crate labels that included stereotypical images of  bug-eyed mammies and barefoot pickaninnies toting baskets full of yams.  The Museum is also building exhibits dedicated to Blacks on stamps and currencies from around the world.

The only minor drawback to The Museum of Uncut Funk is that the main gallery pages are embedded with sound files that automatically load when you go to the page.  The sound files are fantastic, tight cuts from groups like The Ohio Players and The Jimmy Castor Bunch, but if your computer loads slowly, it could be the equivalent of going to the museum and waiting in line behind an old lady with six screaming grandkids, trying to pay by check.  You might be in line a while, but it’s definitely worth the wait.

- JEP


The Best Things In Life Are Free

 

Remember, Free Comic Book Day is tomorrow, Saturday, May 2, 2009!

Make sure you visit your local comic shop tomorrow…and each week after that.  If you’re not fortunate enough to live in a town like I do that has at least four independently owned and operated comic book stores, or you don’t know where to find one in your town, check out www.comicshoplocator.com and just enter your zip code or call 1-888-COMIC-BOOK.

- JEP


Trek Turner

Today marks the release of the film, Star Trek, a reboot of the hoary, 43 year-old sci-fi franchise created by the late Gene Roddenberry.  To commemorate the occasion, I bring you the whore-y YouTube mash-up, Trek Turner, featuring original Star Trek cast member Nichelle Nichols. 

The role of Lt. Uhura,  the regal communications officer of the USS Enterprise, defined Nichelle Nichols’ career, but she played completely against type as Dorinda, a vengeful, foul-mouthed madame in the 1974 Isaac Hayes Blaxploitation vehicle, Truck Turner (no pun intended).  The venomous verbal tirades Dorinda launches at her stable of prostitutes are some of the most deliciously profane moments ever committed to celluloid, so, like peanut butter and chocolate, it was only a matter of time before someone brought Truck and Trek together.  In this case, snippets of Nichols’ Truck Turner dialogue are synched with clips of the cartoon Lt. Uhura from Star Trek: The Animated Series and, needless to say, the results are more than a little NSFW:

 

So far, everything I’ve seen of the new J.J. Abrams-helmed Star Trek looks really good, but there are legions of Star Trek devotees who are a lot more zealous about these matters than I am. 

The new cast may have a tough hill to climb bringing in new fans to the franchise, while pleasing the vast army of long-time Trekkers, but I think they just might pull it off.  So, best of luck to Zoe Saldana, Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, and Karl Urban and the rest of the crew…”Now get out there and make it look good!”

- JEP


Mothers, Brothers, Snakes and Shaft*

Mornin’

I’ve been in Houston, TX the past few days for my brother’s 40th birthday bash and Mother’s Day.  (I’m still there as a matter of fact.)  My family had a great time bowling, touring Johnson Space Center, and just hanging out.  My brother loved the birthday present I got for him, but that will be the subject for another post. 

I also got to handle a 7 ft. albino Burmese python named Janeane, whose owner let me borrow her copy of the original, vinyl, double-album soundtrack for the movie Shaft.  Heck, except for the slit cut open to remove the albums, the thing was still in its original cellophane wrapper!  But that too will be the subject for another post.

Be sure to come back tomorrow, for the next episode of WORLD OF HURT: The Thrill-Seekers.  Now that a simple missing persons case has turned into a murder investigation, Pastor puts some pieces on the board and calls in a favor before he starts the work of finding Alicia Patterson’s killer.

- JEP

*Nope, nothing Freudian there.


Open For Business

 

Major League World Of Hurt - Front

PAINFUL AD COPY IN 3…2…1…

 

Two new t-shirts have been added to the WORLD OF HURT Online Store.  Both shirts feature the above sports-themed image on the front and the WORLD OF HURT logo in black and red on back.  You’ll look like a Major League badass at the ballgame, the park or while working out in these cool, white cotton tees.
Major League World Of Hurt -Back

 

END PAINFUL AD COPY.

 

- JEP


“WORLD” Goes Global

The World Is Not Enough

Thanks to the magic of the world’s #1 social networking site and the nonstop promotional hustle of my ardent supporters, particularly Guess Who? and The Pirate Musketeer, in one short month of operation, WORLD OF HURT has developed a truly international outreach.  I would like to take this time to welcome my readers in the United Kingdom (Good afternoon), Sweden (God dag), Germany (Guten tag), and the Independent Republic of South Carolina (Wh’sup) who have joined the WORLD OF HURT Fan Club on Facebook.  Keep spreading the word and we’ll bring the world together one old-school ass whuppin’ at a time.  If I mangled your native tongue or if I missed any nations, just drop me a line and I’ll gladly give you a shout out.

Now what better way to celebrate our newly formed brotherhood of international players than with the instrumental version of  ”International Player’s Anthem?”  The 2006 hit by underground  hip-hop phenoms, UGK, featuring an appearance by Outkast, incorporates an extensive sample from Willie Hutch’s song “I Choose You” from the soundtrack of the seminal 1973 Blaxploitation film, The Mack. 

Enjoy:

 

 

Thanks for choosing to stop by.  Again, I genuinely appreciate your support and enthusiasm.  

Remember, I have a new strip every Wednesday and update my blog every Friday. 

Come back again and make sure to invite a friend.

- JEP


Comic Rank