David Walker’s most recent project is the book, WHY’S THE BROTHA GOTTA DIE?, a collection of essays on the propensity for Black characters in film to die ignominious, useless deaths.  The next thing I want him to write is an introduction for a WORLD OF HURT collection, because I respect the fact that he helped keep the flame of old school Black cinema alive when most other folks had written it off.

I first became familiar with your work through your website, BadAzzMoFo.com, However, the site had its origins as the late, lamented magazine, BadAzz MoFo, which you created, published, wrote extensively for, and pretty much ran as one-man operation.  BadAzz MoFo.com celebrates “pop culture at its baddest,” but the magazine’s basic focus was the Blaxploitation film movement of the 1970s.  It’s obvious that you have a fascination with cinema in general, but what started your love affair with Blaxploitation, in particular?

Growing up in the 1970s, I was aware of blaxploitation films mostly through the things I would see in Ebony and Jet magazines, which my grandparents had subscriptions to (whose grandparents didn’t?). And there was also the music. I remember my cousin and I looking at his dad’s Shaft soundtrack album, and just dying to see the movie. The album cover has that image of Richard Roundtree crashing through the window with his gun blazing, and we were fascinated by it, because we had never seen anything like it before.

So, in a weird way, my first knowledge of blaxploitation didn’t even come from the films themselves. My love of the genre really started with Jim Kelly in Enter the Dragon. Most people wouldn’t consider that a blaxploitation films, but it was one of the first films I actually saw with a totally badass black guy. Honestly, it was Jim Kelly in Enter the Dragon that led me to Jim Kelly in Black Belt Jones and Three the Hard Way, and that helped open the floodgates.

In your opinion, what’s the biggest misconception people have about Blaxploitation?

There are so many misconceptions, but the first that comes to mind is the belief that these films were bad and portrayed blacks in negative ways. Sure, not all the films were good – I mean many of them really sucked. And some were nothing but a bunch of clichés and stereotypes, but the same can be said for all film genres. You don’t have to look hard to find some great blaxploitation films, and by “great” I mean films that are entertaining or possibly even provocative. The key is to get past all the stigmas and negative connotations of the term blaxploitation itself.

You just released the book, WHY’S THE BROTHA GOTTA DIE? through Lulu.com.  The book is all about the cinematic trope of the “Disposable Brotha—the black characters that get bumped off in genre movies.” Tell us a little about the origins of the book and what it was about the topic that compelled you to make it the first all-new BadAzz MoFo production to be released in five years?

The origin of the book itself goes back to my childhood, sitting around with my friends and cousins, talking about how the black guy always got killed in the movies. It seemed like all the movies we loved had a black guy getting killed (Planet of the Apes, Alien, The Omega Man, etc.). And of course, there were the films with no black people at all – Star Wars, Logan’s Run, but that’s a topic for another book. Back when I was still publishing BadAzz MoFo as a magazine, I ran a piece about the black guy getting killed in movies. I always wanted to revisit that subject, only with something more in depth. And I really wanted to examine why black guys got killed in the movies. Over the years, I talked with various actors and filmmakers about the subject, as well as my friends, and even random strangers who I met. In many ways, the book is a culmination of those conversations, but it was also part of my obsession with history and the psychological perceptions of black people in this society. The cliché of the black guy getting killed in movies is a perpetuation of the notion that black life is cheap, and that goes back to the days of slavery. I wanted to explain to people, in the language of BadAzz MoFo, how Jim Kelly getting killed in Enter the Dragon was connected to everything from slavery to the Civil War to Reconstruction and even the Three-fifths Compromise.

My decision to put out WHY’S THE BROTHA GOTTA DIE? was two-fold. First, I wanted to do something to mark the 15th anniversary of BadAzz MoFo. It needed to be something that was in line with the origins of the publication, but wasn’t just a collection of old shit. I had no interest in simply reprinting old stuff, so even though the book covers a topic we explored in the original magazine, all the content is new. The other thing that motivated me to do the book was that I’m getting reading to self-publish my first novel, and I wanted to check out some of the print-on-demand options that were out there. Before I did the book through Lulu, I did a test run with this new machine from HP, but I wasn’t happy with the results. I went through Lulu, but I also have problems with them. I can’t imagine doing my upcoming novel through them, that’s for sure.

The magazine, BadAzz MoFo, featured some wonderful interviews with some of the legends of Blaxploitation and some of its forgotten players who still had interesting tales to tell, such as John Daniels of The Candy Tangerine Man.

What was your favorite interview?

Most of the interviews had been filmed as part of documentary I was making back in the 1990s. That whole experience was one of the best of my life, and it is difficult to narrow down any one interview as my favorite, because I have so many stories about how the interview came to be, what happened while I was at the house of whoever I was interviewing – you name it. But all of that said, the best connection I made with anyone was with Ron O’Neal. I’d like to think that we came away from the experience as friends. And we had seriously talked about doing a film together. His death devastated me. I also got to know Rudy Ray Moore fairly well. We didn’t hit it off that much during the interview, but he was the person I saw the most after the fact. I was hanging out with him at a film festival in Seattle less than a year before he died, and we had a great conversation. People never took Rudy that seriously, but the man was so smart and so cool and so full of information. I think people saw him as being little more than a dirty comedian, but the guy was so much more than that. If you look at Rudy’s movies, they are essentially the same as the black cast movies of the 1930s and 40s. You can see how much he was influenced by the “colored only” entertainment of the past, and the way he translated it to the 1970s was pretty amazing.

What was your toughest?

Jim Brown was difficult. The man is more intimidating in real life than you can imagine. He picks his words so carefully, and he expects you to do the same. I remember he wouldn’t even answer a question until I defined what being “black” meant. My interview with William Marshall was also difficult, but for other reasons. I had some technical problems with the equipment, and though I couldn’t say for sure at the time, he had Alzheimer’s. He wasn’t that far gone at the time, but still, I felt very uncertain about interviewing him. But his wife was very supportive, and he seemed very enthused to talk to me. And when the interview was over, there was a drive-by shooting at the house next door to his. I also interviewed Max Julien. For a variety of reasons his interview never made it in the documentary, and I never bothered to publish it. Max is a great guy, and over the years we had some incredible conversations, but again, for a variety of reasons, I never used the actual interview. But the worst interview I’ve ever conducted in my life would have to be Jamaa Fanaka. And keep in mind that in addition to the blaxploitation interviews, I’ve had hundreds of conversations, with everyone from Ice Cube to Nicholas Cage to Jet Li to Harry Reams to Peter Fonda – I think you get my point. But everything about that interview with Fanaka was terrible and pretty much useless.

Who do you wish you could have interviewed?

Back when I was making my documentary I had the opportunity to talk to some people but we never did a real interview. Ossie Davis had agreed to narrate the film, but that never came to be. I had a great conversation with Calvin Lockhart, but he was living in the Bahamas or somewhere like that, and we couldn’t make it work out in terms of filming. I really wish I had interviewed Dick Anthony Williams. We had some great conversations on the phone, and he was willing to do an interview, but for some reason it never happened. I tried to get Samuel Z. Arkoff of American International Pictures, but he was sick at the time. And even though I busted my ass, I never got to interview Gordon Parks Sr. or Isaac Hayes, both of which I really regret. Other than that, it is all people who were already dead – Rosalind Cash, D’urville Martin, Gordon Parks Jr. I don’t give a shit that I never interviewed Richard Roundtree of Pam Grier, both of whom were very rude to me. And Roger Mosely was the most unpleasant person I have ever dealt with.

Your love of comic books was also evident in BadAzz MoFo.  “Black Santa’s Revenge,” which you adapted as a short film of the same name featuring Ken (The Devil’s Rejects) Foree, had its origins as a comic that you wrote for the magazine.  Jim Mahfood (Grrl Scouts) was even a frequent contributor to BadAzz Mofo.

Growing up, what were some of your favorite comic book characters?

I loved Batman, but pretty much hated DC. If you put a DC comic in front of me and it didn’t have Batman, fuhgetaboutit. I loved Marvel. And I still prefer Marvel characters over DC. Of course, Spider-Man is my favorite Marvel character, but I was big into the kung-fu guys – Shang Chi, Iron Fist, Sons of the Tiger. I liked Luke Cage, even though me and my friends could not take him seriously. Two of my favorite comics as a kid were Marvel Two-in-One and Marvel Team-Up, because I always loved when The Thing or Spider-Man teamed up with other characters. It seemed like you were getting more for your thirty-five cents.

There used to be a time when I didn’t understand how comic artists/writers could NOT make a regular pilgrimage to the comic shops.  However, as I’ve gotten older, my tastes have changed and it’s much less of a habit.  Do you still read comics, and if so, what titles do you pick up?

I still read comics, but I’m not a regular reader, and there are no titles that I buy every month (those things are expensive). For the most part I read stuff that is recommended to me, either by comic creators that I know and respect, or by friends whose taste doesn’t totally suck. I tend to go more with writers than anything else. I will read anything by Brian Michael Bendis, and not just because he is a friend. I believe he is one of the best, if not the best writers currently in comics. I was very sick recently, and I got a bunch of Ultimate Spider-Man collections from the library (because again, those things are expensive), and I tore through those things like you wouldn’t believe. But aside from a handful of superhero stuff that I look at from time to time, I tend to lean more towards other genres. I enjoyed 100 Bullets and Ex-Machina. Powers, by Bendis and Mike Oeming is the only title I have consistently bought in years.

If given the opportunity, what character would you write?

Honestly, neither Marvel nor DC would ever let me play with their characters the way I would want to. I sometimes try to think of stories that I could pitch, but it is difficult for me to come up with new ways for Spider-Man to fight Green Goblin of for Batman to fight the Joker. Years ago, I had a great concept for Luke Cage, but it wouldn’t work now that he’s been re-invented. And to be honest, I like what Marvel has done with Luke Cage. About ten years ago I tried to put together a pitch for a Deadly Hands of Kung-Fu twelve-issue maxi-series that would feature all of the characters from the 1970s martial arts books Marvel was putting out. Even the supporting characters were in the series. It was epic. But I didn’t have the juice to get it looked at.

Speaking of writing for comic books, currently you’re working on the comic book series, KENJI: MASTER OF THE BLIND MONKEY STYLE with artist, Robert (Chocolate Thunder) Love. Can you tell us a bit about this title, its influences, etc.?

I’ve known Robert and his brothers for years. Individually and collectively I’ve talked with them about doing a project, but it was Robert that made things happen. He was invited to participate in the Popgun Comic Anthology from Image Comics, and he was looking for someone to script Blind Monkey Style. Robert and I have similar tastes, and we both love old school Shaw Brothers kung-fu flicks, so it was a no-brainer. Robert already had the idea in his head, and most of the pages drawn. His art was clearly a byproduct of kung-fu movies, early 1980s hip-hop, and some other crazy shit. I came along and provided a script, and enough character development to give the story some more dimension. Then we started talking about using that original story as a spring board for a KENJI mini-series that would be a combination of martial arts, magic and urban mayhem. I’m hoping the book will be out in 2011. We’ve also collaborated on a project called NUMBER 13, which is supposed to be serialized in the revamped Dark Horse Presents, also due out in 2011.

What I admire about you is that your projects embody this can-do, do-it-yourself attitude.  With the magazine, you were doing DIY, before the Internet made DIY easy(easier?).  BadAzzMoFo was an old-fashioned ink and paper, pound the pavement and dredge up advertisers endeavor.  With Facebook, Twitter, Kickstarter, and a host of other social media, one can reach international audiences and get their work and name out there at a relatively low cost.  Also, you are able to bring big Hollywood names to your film projects, notably Leonard Roberts from Heroes in Blackstar Warrior and Ken Foree in Black Santa’s Revenge.  You even went eye-to-eye in an interview with Jim Brown, “the baddest man on Earth,” and lived to tell the tale.  What’s the one piece of indispensable advice you have for aspiring creative types, regardless of the medium they chose to work in?

I hate to sound like Nike, but just do it. People get so concerned about time and money, and use both excuses to not be productive. There will never be enough time or enough money. Anyone who thinks that there will be is either a fool or an idiot. I know people who want to make movies, but they don’t have the money. I ask them if they have written the script, and they haven’t. How much does it cost to write a script? Paper and pencil don’t cost that much – you can borrow that stuff. And I hear people who want to make comics, but don’t have the money to self-publish. If that’s the case, then publish on the web. I don’t want to hear bullshit excuses. I don’t want to hear about how someone needs to pay you first, before you will express yourself creatively. If you want to be creative, then do it. If you want get paid, get a job cleaning septic tanks. But don’t be creative just to get a payday, because for one thing you may never get paid, and for another thing that’s not being true to your creativity. At this point in my life I have invested tens of tens of tens thousands of dollars in my creative endeavors, and I’m still waiting to recoup on my investment. The last full issue of BadAzz MoFo (Number 7) nearly destroyed me. My main distributor went bankrupt, owing me something just south of eight grand for that issue, and I never saw a dime of it. My other distributor told me to anticipate shipping at least 1500 units, and then only ordered 200. I printed 2000 more copies than I needed, and it cost me a ton of money. But here I am, years later, still foolishly doing what I do. And I do it because it makes me feel alive.

Most readers might know you through the Blackstar Warrior videos, which started as a three-part mockumentary featuring the search for a “lost” Blaxploitation version of George Lucas’ Star Wars.  The culmination of the project was the release of the trailer for the unreleased film, which was sort of a prequel to the original Star Wars trilogy from Lando Calrissian’s point of view.   The trailer quickly went viral.  Besides being well-done, it was earnest, yet funny, and even fit within the Star Wars continuity.  What was the extent of your involvement with Blackstar Warrior and your thoughts about how it was received? (Any cease-and-desist letters from LucasFilms?)

Blackstar Warrior started with an idea from director Matt Haley. Matt is a comic book artist who has been making the move to film director. He had an idea of doing a fake trailer for a blaxploitation version of Star Wars. He called me one day to see if I thought it was a good idea. I loved the idea, and within a day I had written the script. Once I finished writing the script, I handed it over to Matt, as he was the producer and director. We talked about every decision he made, down to the casting, but I always treated the project as being his. Because I wasn’t stuck with all the responsibility of producing and directing, I was able to have fun. Even though I believed in what we were doing, it all seemed silly to me. I still have trouble believing that the film has become as popular as it has, because we were just fooling around and having a good time. Rumor has it that George Lucas has seen the film and loved it. Apparently he screened it for some of his employees. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it certainly sounds cool. If Lucas called me or Matt and asked us to put together a proposal for a feature length version of Blackstar Warrior, I’d do it. But we all know that’s not going to happen.

What other projects do you have on the horizon?

I’m getting ready to launch the biggest project of my career. I’ve written a Young Adult action adventure novel, and despite the efforts of me, my agent and my manager, it has been rejected by every major publisher in North America (because apparently teenage boys don’t read). So, I’ve decided to self-publish the novel, which can best be described as Spider-Man meets Harry Potter, with a black kid as the hero. I can honestly say that there has never been a book like this one. I’m also developing a comic mini-series/graphic novel, and that can best be described as Indiana Jones on the Island of Dr. Moreau. I’m hoping to get someone else to publish it, and I’m already talking to some people. We’ll see what happens. And oh yeah, I have a new film that is just going out on the festival circuit. It is called My Dinner with A.J., and it is nothing but two black guys talking for ninety minutes. I really wanted to venture into the world of independent film the way black filmmakers never seem to do, which is in a purely intellectual way. I made a movie that defies the conventions of what black people are supposed to say and do in films.

QUICK HITS:

Favorite Blaxploitation movie? Today it is The Spook Who Sat by the Door. But tomorrow it could be something else. I love quite a few of those, but Spook has a special place in my heart.

Favorite Blaxploitation actress? Rosalind Cash

Actor? Ron O’Neal. Or maybe Yaphet Kotto. Or maybe Dick Anthony Williams.

Favorite comic book character? Peter Parker, followed by Spider-Man.

Which actor from that era should have been a bigger star? Ron O’Neal, Calvin Lockhart and Rosalind Cash all deserved to have better careers.

Thalmus Rasulala. Best name ever or best name ever? Yeah, Thalmus Rasulala is the best name ever, though Ji-Tu Cumbuka is a close second, and Warhawk Tanzania is a distant third.

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For your chance to win a copy of WHY’S THE BROTHA GOTTA DIE?, just answer the following question and e-mail your response to worldofhurtonline@yahoo.com by January 20, 2011:

What year did David Walker begin publishing the magazine, BadAzz MoFo?

This might take a little research, since it wasn’t stated above.  The names of those who answer correctly will be placed into a hat and the winner drawn at random.  Good luck!

- JEP

#7: Architects

Sometimes, I think when Hollywood screenwriters are pressed for ideas about occupations to give their protagonists they open a dictionary or log onto Monster.com and stop at the letter “A.”  It seems like a disproportionate number of movies feature lead characters who are either ad executives (The Santa Clause, The Ex, Picture Perfect, What Women Want) or architects.  Mostly, they’re architects.  In the magical world of movies, EVERYBODY is an architect.  Using the handy-dandy resource that is IMDb.com, just a cursory look at movies that feature main characters who are architects brings up Click, The Lake House, you, Me and Dupree, Just Like Heaven, It’s Complicated, Indecent Proposal, The Brady Bunch Movie, White Noise, Wrong Side of Town, Last Night, Housesitter, One Fine Day, The Quiet, Three Men and a Baby, Town & Country, Mystic Pizza, Firewall, Before Sunrise, Life as a House, The Frighteners, Orphan, Deathwish, Inception, (500) Days of Summer….need I go on?  With the exception of Inception (say that five times fast), being an architect isn’t integral to the story.  It’s just a job that sounds cool. (Also, the 2004 film, Addiction, features a “successful ad executive” married to an “cozy (?) architect.”  That’s a TWOFER, baby!)

#6:  Still I “Rise”

Type in “Rise of” on IMDB.com and you’ll see that “rising” is almost as popular when titling movie franchises as the venerable colon.  This past decade we’ve seen GI Joe: Rise of Cobra, Terminator: Rise of the Machines, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj, The Scorpion King: Rise of a Warrior, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans,” and in 2012, we’ll see Batman returning to theatres with the movie, The Dark Knight Rises.  As a percentage of movies released, there’s really not that much “rising” going on, but the high profile of most of these films and the generous use of “rise” in video games makes the “rising” seem more omnipresent than it is.  Using “Rise of…” in a movie’s title is a fairly new development.  I’m certain it will burn itself out in fairly short time, but for me, that can’t come soon enough.

#5:  Supervillain Party-Poopers

It seems like virtually every superhero movie franchise created after Superman II has to feature a scene where the villain proves his bonafides by crashing some kind of  ball/party/festival/extravaganza.  Usually, the hero is conveniently in attendance, because the party is being thrown by the hero himself or his employer.  Every Batman movie has featured a villainous party crasher, Iron Man had his Stark Expo attacked by Mickey Rourke, and Spider-Man had to endure the Green Goblin breaking up a street fair AND the singing of Macy Gray (I kid!).  Based on the trailer for the upcoming Green Lantern movie, it seems like even everyone’s favorite space cop could face some calamitous party-crashing.

#4    The Slow-Mo “The-Gangs-All-Here” Walk

Right or wrong, I blame Quentin Tarantino for introducing this one to the world.

#3:   Slow-Mo Walk Away From An Explosion

At this point, I think even the average movie-goer recognizes what a tired cliche this moment is.  Originally, I’m sure it was a nice cinematic shorthand to establish a character’s bad-ass bonafides,because of his nonchalance as flesh-searing heat; knee-buckling and ear-drum shattering blast waves, and nearly supersonic shrapnel flew toward his exposed back.  Once Christian Slater did it in the promos to his short-lived 2009 TV series, My Own Worst Enemy, the bloom was off the rose.  Will Ferrell and Andy Samburg seemingly put the nail in the coffin later that same year with their song ”Cool Guys Don’t Look At Explosions” at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards:

X-Men Origins: Wolverine was in the can before the awards program aired, so hopefully this film represents the last time we see this particular trope in the wild for some time.

#2:   The Two-Gun Pistolero

From what I understand, you can’t properly fire two pistols at two separate targets at the same time.  I think this particular movie cliche had its origins in Hong Kong cinema of the 1990s, but it reached viral stage with the release of The Matrix.  The use of acrobatic, double-fisted gun play in the action films coming out of Hong Kong was the coolest thing American audiences had seen in a long time, because it was a fresh, exciting way to portray a gun fight.  Now it’s just warmed over Chow Yun Fat.

#1  The Mexican Standoff

You know what I’m talking about.  It’s the moment where two parties draw their weapons at the same time and dare each other to fire.  For extra kewlness, it will be a whole gaggle of folks on each side and they’ll spend a good 10 seconds waving their guns around from target to target until:

a.  someone walks in doing a variation of the line, “Whoa, who, whoa!  Guys!  Guys!” or,

b.  the oily villain laughs heartily and says something along the lines of, “You drive a hard bargain. I like your moxie,” or

c. something goes tragically wrong and everyone dies in a tragicomic hail of gunfire.

I was going to blame Tarantino for popularizing this one in Reservoir Dogs, but I’d prefer to lay the blame at George Lucas’ feet:

- JEP

Back when I first started WORLD OF HURT, I struggled to find the right face for Pastor.  I worked out countless sketches, but the only features I was settled on were the prominent nose with the flared nostrils and the widow’s peak, but I went back and forth on most of the specifics of his face.  I figured it would be much easier if there was some actor out there who had some the features that I had in mind for the character.  I really couldn’t find a contemporary Black actor with the facial structure that I was looking for.  Most of the actors I could think of were too young, too pretty, or frankly looked a little odd without facial hair.  Pastor is supposed to be a handsome guy, but I needed strong, manly, rugged features and intensity and intelligence behind the eyes.  I also wanted his face to have just a bit of mileage to it.  Frequent commenter, regular reader and fellow webcomic artist, Jessica, once suggested acclaimed British actor, Chiwetel Ejiofor:

Some of the actors that I had in mind were Isaiah Washington;

Lamman Rucker;

comedian and former 7-Up pitchman, Godfrey;

However, it wasn’t until just this week, I found the most unlikely candidate in actor and award-winning choreographer, Darrin Dewitt Henson.  You might remember Henson from the commercial for the dance instructional video, Darrin’s Dance Grooves, which enjoyed heavy rotation on MTV during the late 90s (”Ain’t no lie, BYE-BYE-BYE.), however since that time, he has established a solid, steady acting career with performances in movies like Stomp The Yard and most recently, Tekken.  He also starred as “Lem” in Showtime’s TV series, Soul Food, which was based on the film of the same name.  However, it was these images from his appearance in the 2007 film, The Express which caught my eye:

And especially this one:

That IS Pastor!  The best part is that Darrin Dewitt Henson was playing the role of Jim Brown in The Express, a role which he was hand-picked to play by Brown himself.  Additionally, in an interview on The M’onique Show, Henson disclosed that he speaks fluent French, much like Pastor himself!

What do you guys think?

- JEP

Rip Kirby may be Alex Raymond’s lesser known creation among the general public, it is arguably his more highly regarded work among fans of comics, and particularly artists.  Although Flash Gordon is obviously rooted in 1930s Futurism, as evidenced by the Art Deco-inspired cityscapes that dot the planet Mongo, the basic story of a two-fisted action hero fighting an evil dictator on an alien world, could be updated to any time period.  Rip Kirby might be a less desirable property for Hollywood today, because the strip was such a product of its time, that it would be difficult to remove it from its post-World War II setting and still maintain the elements that made it unique.  It probably should have been adapted in the late fifties with Cary Grant as Rip and Doris Day as his adoring sidekick, Honey Dorian.  If adapted today, I could almost see a Rip Kirby movie as something like the Peyton Reed-directed film Down With Love (2003), starring Ewan McGregor and Rene Zellweger, by way of the Coen Brothers.  But who could you get to star in such a film?  I’m glad you asked.  Let’s start with a celebrated alumni of the Coen Brothers filmography:

George Clooney as ‘Rip Kirby’

For years, I’ve said that George Clooney is the Last Great Hollywood Movie Star.  As a celebrity, George Clooney seems like he’s from a different era.  He’s always impeccably groomed and although he jets around the world, he does so in a relatively low-key manner, free of the entourages, spectacle and “candid” paparazzi shots courted by most modern celebrities.  As an actor, in most of his roles, Clooney plays similarly low-key, but clever, urbane and dapper gentleman.  Clooney The Celebrity and Clooney The Actor would inform the role of Rip Kirby, a scientist/sleuth/gentleman adventurer who prefers deductive reasoning and a quiet night at home playing the piano, but still packs a nice right hook.  If you slap a pair of horn-rimmed glasses on George Clooney, and he would be a perfect Rip Kirby.  If you ever saw his verbal sparring with Catherine Zeta-Jones in Intolerable Cruelty, you know that Clooney can skillfully channel the whiz-bang snappy banter of a 1950s-era film.

Reese Witherspoon as ‘Honey Dorian’

In Legally Blonde, Reese Witherspoon demonstrated that she could bring depth and intelligence to a character like Elle Woods, who probably would have remained a breezy, lightweight character in the hands of a lesser actress.  Witherspoon could transform Honey Dorian, the moony-eyed, love-struck part-time model/part-time sidekick to Rip Kirby into a plucky, smart, clever partner for Rip, and still maintain the character’s sunny innocence and charm.

Stanley Tucci as ‘Desmond’

I’ve been a fan of Stanley Tucci since I saw him in the 1996 film, Big Night.  He’s a brilliant actor, who is good at playing a man with something to hide.  Rip Kirby’s British manservant, Desmond, was supposed to be a reformed criminal, but the way he was written, I never bought it.  He just seemed too proper and stuffy.  Tucci could bring out those undertones and be an able, sarcastic foil to Rip Kirby’s all-too perfect gentleman detective.

Dita Von Teese as ‘Pagan Lee’

Pagan Lee was a classic femme fatale.  In her first appearance, the sultry, raven-haired beauty was a moll for the The Mangler, a gangster with his eye on the Hicks Formula, a weapon of mass destruction that was potentially more devastating than the atom bomb.  By the end of the story, she grew tired of The Mangler’s cruelty and decided to turn on him.  Over the course of subsequent Kirby adventures, Pagan eventually  became a successful actress and songstress, who hid from her past (and the aggrieved Mangler) under the assumed name of “Madelon.”  I’m not sure if Dita Von Teese can act, but with her cold, dark, vintage beauty and her own history with self-styled anti-authoritarian bad boys I think there really wouldn’t be much acting involved.  Pagan Lee is a part she was born to play.  (Besides, she could provide her own wardrobe.)

Benecio Del Toro as ‘The Mangler’

The Mangler was probably the closest thing that Rip Kirby had to an arch-nemesis.  Rip Kirby was described in his very first strip as a “famed athlete, scientist, amateur sleuth, marine reservist,” and although The Mangler lacked the academic training and resume of the Renaissance man Rip Kirby, he made up for it with an atavistic cunning and penchant for casual violence that made him a match for the detective.   Benecio Del Toro has played sinister, but charming characters before, most notably in Sin City, and I could easily see him playing the cruel, pin-striped gangster with the scarred face and a missing finger.  He has the acting chops to seem an able threat to Clooney.

That’s my take.  What do you think?

- JEP

Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief, is a film adaptation of the first book from Percy Jackson & The Olympians series of young adult novels by author, Rick Riordan.  It appears to be a coming-of-age story cut from the Harry Potter cloth, wherein a young man discovers his hidden birthright of magical powers along his fate as the only one who can destroy an ancient evil.  In Percy Jackson’s case, he’s a halfbreed demi-god, the son of Poseidon, the God Of The Seas from Greek mythology.  I sought out the background information of the Percy Jackson series, because there was one aspect of the trailer that caused me to literally, and ruefully, laughed out loud: the Black kid.  No, I’m not laughing at Brandon T. Jackson, the young actor in the role.  I’m certain that he does a fine job.  What made me laugh was the point at which the trailer flashes a title card that states “THE HERO,” and then a displays series of shots which clearly establish the clean-cut White kid, Percy Jackson, as the protagonist-the hero.  Next, the character of Grover Underwood-the Black kid- is established as “THE PROTECTOR.”  Even from the trailer, you can tell that Grover’s the guy sent to guard and guide Percy through his hero’s journey and introduce him to the wonders of the strange new world he is about to enter.  He’s a cross between Yoda and Bagger Vance, I guess.

I appreciate Rick Riordan’s attempts at inclusion; to get a bit of diversity on the page, and ultimately, the silver screen, but we’ve been down this road before.  We’ve been the stalwart Black sidekick.   If Grover’s tough, resilient, plucky, or whatever enough to protect Percy Jackson from whatever threats he may encounter while he discovers, and learns to use, his powers, then it stands to reason that good ol’ Grover would have the fortitude to BE the hero, right?  (Hell, with a name like ‘Percy Jackson,’ I’m shocked that he ISN’T Black.)  I know, the Black kid can’t be the hero in this particular story, because the Percy Jackson & The Olympians is rooted in Greek mythology, so their gods obviously weren’t Black.  I would give you that argument, if Rosario Dawson hadn’t been cast as the Greek goddess, Persephone.  

Perhaps she’s described a little lighter in the books.  Then again, maybe Percy Jackson can’t be Black, because he’s the son of the God Of The Oceans, and everyone knows that Black folks don’t swim.

One thing I missed in the trailer, but realized later, was the fact that Grover uses crutches.  Apparently, Grover does this to hide the fact that he’s actually a satyr, and the crutches help disguise the unusual posture and gait caused by his cloven hooves.  Because I’m already  approaching 1000 words, for the time being I’ll ignore the fact that the Black kid is secretly a mythological being whose has traditionally been portrayed as a sex-crazed, indolent, half-animal with a huge schlong that does nothing but play music all day.  That’s a post for another day.  Instead, I’m going to focus on Grover Underwood as yet another example of the plucky, Black, crippled sidekick that seems so popular in fiction.  Rick’s cashing in all his EEOC chips with Grover, huh?  But, where have we seen this archetype before?  Let me see:

Well, there was that one kid, Stevie Kenarkin from the Fox sitcom, Malcolm In The Middle, played by Craig Lamar Traylor:

As much as I love the Teen Titans, I have to regretfully add Vic Stone, Cyborg, to this list.  His dangerous Black virility was dampened by the fact that his limbs, part of his face, and possibly his junk, was burned off by an other-dimensional protoplasmic creature:

Hammer (no MC) was a minor character from the comic book, X-Force, who was paralyzed during a mission with The Six-Pack, a team of mutant mercenaries led by Cable.  His teammate Kane (a White dude) had both his arms blown off, but he received superior cybernetic replacements for those.  In a fictional universe where characters return from the dead with alarming regularity, Hammer still remains confined to his wheelchair.

A recent addition to the ranks of the crippled Black sidekick is Marvel’s James Rhodes, aka War Machine.  Seems like he had his face blown off in Avengers: The Initiative, along with a lot of his other pieces.  Fortunately, it seems that he may get better in time for the next Iron Man movie.

However, my favorite example of the plucky Black, crippled sidekick is from no less a writer than Alan Moore himself.  When Rob Liefeld hired Moore to revitalize his Youngblood property, Moore introduced Max Doyle, a robotics expert who piloted a number of of giant robot bodies.  Collectively, Max and his robots went by the name of Big Brother.  Get it?  ‘Brother’ can be slang for a Black dude and he zips around in a giant…Uh, I’ll let Alan Moore describe the character in his own words:

Big Brother is the final male member of the team.  His real name is Max Doyle.  He’s Waxman’s adoped son; he’s seventeen; he’s black; he’s only about five feet tall, and he’s crippled in both legs.

I actually dug the concept, but once you read the description out loud, it sounds like Johnny Sokko played by Arnold Drummond from Dif’frent Strokes.

I’m not saying that these attempts at greater diversity are not appreciated.  They are, because these portrayals are a far cry from the days of Stepin Fetchit and Aunt Jemima.  However, if you’re a writer in a position to create a new character and their supporting cast, just stop for one second and ask youself: “Why can’t the HERO be Black? Asian? A Woman? Physically challenged?”  I think if  you answer it honestly, you’ll find yourself with something more challenging to yourself and your readers than a token nod to cultural diversity. 

- JEP

Damaggio had a brief career in comic books, mostly doing DC Comics properties, whichI first spoke about here.  I particularly enjoy his quote under the “Comics” tab of his website, which states, “If you really wanna know how to draw ..DO COMICS.”  Testify, Brother Rodolfo!  Besides being an excellent draftsman, Damaggio is a first-rate storyteller, even within the confines of a single image.  Damaggio’s work is inspiring, and I even purchased two pages of his original art, which I have framed and mounted above my drawing table.

- JEP

Also, Singleton cast Samuel L. Jackson in the title role.  Simply put, besides being tough, Shaft is a sexy dude.  Isaac Hayes’ classic theme drips with sex.  It’s a soulful elegy to Shaft’s sexual prowess.  Hell, his name is “Shaft,” and that’s so obvious it would make Freud blush.  Despite Samuel L. Jackson’s badass credentials, sexy he ain’t.  Sorry, Sam, but it’s true.  You may be a bad motherfucker, but nobody believes you’ve got the sex appeal to get-down-and-dirty and actually…well, you know.

Now if I were remaking Shaft, I would set it firmly in 1971 and use Ernest Tidyman’s 1971 novel as the template for casting.  Following, I’ll provide a selection of text from Tidyman’s first Shaft novel to describe a major character, show the original actor cast and then provide my choice for the role for a re-make:

JOHN SHAFT – Black private dick who’s a sex machine to all the chicks.

Page 83: “Shaft’s face was…more round than oval, more flat and concave than sculptured and convex.  The eyes and nose seemed to have been cut into it, rather than built into it.  It was almost a Polynesian carved face, cut into stained balsa or some dark wood.  The lips were full, but they lay flat against his teeth.  A mask, but not a mask…Life and strength.  It was framed in a modified Afro haircut, notched with unexpectedly delicate and tightly set ears.”

Original: Richard Roundtree.  I can’t imagine the original, or the sequels, without him.

My Selection:  The Wire’s Idris Elba.

BUMPY JONAS – ( “Knocks Persons” in the novels) - undisputed gangster kingpin of Harlem

Pages 33-34: “Knocks Persons just sat there.  Massive, mountainous, a great brown mound of a man in a black suit completely filling the white leather chair that looked like a vertical bathtub on a chrome base with casters…shaven head gleaming in the soft indirect light, folds of flesh around his bull neck almost hiding the collar of his shirt.  A lumbering giant whose police records described him as a fraction over 6 feet 6 inches tall, weighing 290 pounds with distinct scars in at least eleven places on his massive body.”

Original: Moses Gunn, a strong actor with a great, slow-burning menacing presence, but not exactly “massive.”

My Selection: Who else but Michael Clarke-Duncan of The Green Mile fame?

BEN BUFORD – Black firebrand and revolutionary; an old pal of Shaft’s from back in the day

Page 56: “…Watusi-tall and warrior-fierce in his stance.  So tall and lean with a great bush of tight black curls surrounding his slender ascetic face.  His arms and legs so slim and long that even the suits he affected were not quite enough to cloak the angularity of the body.  He did not look at all like his voice.  A warrior or an inflamed divinity student with gold-rimmed glasses perched on his nose.

Original: Christopher St. John (St. John was actually Tidyman’s preferred choice for the role of John Shaft)

My Selection: This one was kind of difficult, but I would have to go with the Isaiah Washington, formerly of Grey’s Anatomy.  Haughty, and brash, as evidenced by his inexcusable outburst toward his co-star, T.R. Knight, but a skilled and dynamic actor whose bearing fits Buford’s description.

LIEUTENANT VICTOR ANDEROZZI – Shaft’s contact with the New York Police Department.

Page 13: “The lieutenant had a thin, gray face and black hooded eyes.  He was as tall as Shaft, just under six feet, but much leaner, and the way he stood made Shaft think of sharp objects.  The lieutenant looked like a linoleum knife, ready to cut.  The big beak of a nose made it complete.”

The Original: Charles Cioffi.  Good actor, and he had great chemistry with Roundtree, but he doesn’t make one think of “sharp objects,” does he?

My Selection: Adrien Brody (The Pianist, Summer of Sam).  He may be a little young, but that nose, man!  That nose!

HELEN GREEN - (”Dina Green” in the movie) - the wife of Shaft’s accountant, Marvin Green; possibly Shaft’s only platonic female friend.

Shaft and Ben Buford use the Green’s apartment as a temporary safehouse after escaping an attempted hit on Buford.  (I don’t think we ever see Marvin Green in any of the Shaft novels or movies, but Helen is present in at least two of the books.)

Page 87:  “She was the least black negro he knew, possibly the most attractive, possibly the most feminine and womanly as well.  Marvin Green was a fortunate man to have her as a wife and the mother of his children.”

Page 89: “…a Negro girl two or three generations removed from the blackness of skin and soul that had brought Shaft to her kitchen in flight…”

Original: Camille Yarbrough.  She didn’t take any guff off Ben Buford, chastising him for his language.  Even Shaft deferred to her.

My Selection: At first, I was thinking Taraji P. Henson (I was just looking for an excuse to post her picture), but as I looked further into the book for a good description, I found that Ernest Tidyman also described Helen Green as having “hazel eyes.”  Therefore, it became evident that Eva Marcille would make a better choice.

Those are my choices.  Now it’s your turn.  Who would you pick?

- JEP