Welcome to a new, semi-recurring feature on WORLDOFHURTONLINE.COM: Off-Topic Mondays.  Occasionally,  I have ideas, questions, or notions that I can’t even tangentially relate to Blaxploitation, and since it would be irresponsible to litter the Intenet landscape with another blog, I came up with Off-Topic Mondays, with all apologies to Gangstarr Girl’s Blaxploitation Friday.  The first entry in the series does kind of deal with the 1970s and genre fiction, but unless you want to have Billy Dee Williams in the captain’s seat, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with Blaxploitation.  Now give me one second to proudly unfurl my geek flag and here we go:

VS.

You’ve got three days to get across the galaxy.  Which would you rather travel in to reach your destination, the flagship of the Federation, the USS Enterprise (pick whichever model you want), or the Corellian freighter, the Millennium Falcon?

Personally, I’d buy a seat on the Millennium Falcon.  I figure it would smell like a curious blend of patchouli, motor oil, curry and wet fur, and I’d guess that your sleeping compartment would be separated from the others by a measly set of beaded curtains, but the trip would be pretty cool.   You probably wouldn’t even make it to your planned destination, but all the fun would be in the journey itself.  Han would tell awesome stories; I’m sure he’d know the best places to stop, eat, and drink along the way (I mean delicious, authentic, ethnic/alien food served at crappy hole-in-the-wall joints); and more than likely, he’d even let you fly the ship for a while.

With the Enterprise, you’d be guaranteed to reach your final port of call, and the crew would be polite and efficient, but the experience would be a little antiseptic.  I’m sure later models of the Enterprise could even replicate a tasty Applebee’s entree for you, if you so desired.  However, even if something interesting happened along the way, you wouldn’t know it, because some well-groomed crew member would hustle you off to your cabin at the first sign of danger, spout some techno-babble by way of explanation, and lock the door behind him on the way out.  Yawn!

Now let the nerd wankery begin!

- JEP

Happy Friday, y’all!

I had a few items to share, so I thought I’d wrap it up in a bright, shiny linkblogging bow for you:

• First, if you’re in the Atlanta area today and tomorrow, I’d recommend you stop by ONYX CON “….a Conference/Convention celebrating the very best of the impact, contributions, and presence of the African Diaspora in Popular Arts and culture.”  ONYX CON was founded by Joseph R. Wheeler, III, an incredibly sharp, dynamic cat that I had the pleasure of meeting at ECBACC (East Coast Black Age of Comics Convention) this year.  Because I wasn’t quite sure how things were going to shake out with my Dad’s health, I didn’t want to commit to setting up a table, but I’ll definitely be their next year.  ONYX CON starts today and runs through Saturday, August 14th.  It would make a nice, inexpensive day trip if you’re in the area.  General admission tickets are just $5 and Wheeler has done a great job of establishing a family-oriented event with workshops and programs that cover a wide range of topics for creators, casual fans and kids.

• Scott Sanders and Michael Jai White’s Blaxploitation homage, Black Dynamite opens in the United Kingdom today. Or as Dolemite might say, “Black Dynamite’s tough, together, righteous and mean.  So if she’s selling smack to the orphans, can’t even God save the Queen!”

• Finally, this clip featuring a Blaxploitation version of Star Wars, entitled “Blackstar Warrior” has been making the rounds on the internet this week.  The clip stars Leonard Roberts (Angel, Heroes) as Lando Calrissian.  The trailer places Lando at the center of an adventure that pits him against the evil Galactic Empire.  What I like about the trailer is that it plays with some of the Blaxploitation tropes and iconography while expanding on some of the back story between Han Solo and Lando that was only previously hinted at by George Lucas.  The trailer has its tongue firmly planted in its cheek, but there’s a fair amount of respect and knowledge of both Blaxploitation and the Star Wars saga that comes through in this effort.  Little touches like the voiceover entreating viewers to “ask your mama;” the humorous twist on Star Wars‘ urgent holographic plea from a woman in distress; and even the use of the line, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this, ” which was used in every Star Wars film, demonstrate the creators’ commitment to, and knowledge of, their subjects.  The trailer gets extra satirical points by relegating Han Solo, the coolest character in the original Star Wars trilogy, to a comedic sidekick who is slightly out of his element.  This twist is an amusingly subtle inversion of the standard dynamic between Black and White film protagonists.

Sean McLean of Underwhelmedcomic.com hipped me to this new trailer, but its makers had teased its release several months ago with by posting a three-part “documentary” series on YouTube.com, detailing the circumstances around the search for a lost, unreleased Black version of Star Wars, which was allegedly created in the 1970s.  With its serious tone and the inclusion of noted Blaxploitation scholar and friend of WORLD OF HURT, David Walker of BadAzzMofo.com, I was almost willing to believe the mockumentary was real.  Nonetheless, the entire effort was brilliantly conceived, cleverly executed, and the Blackstar Warrior pay-off was a real hoot.

- JEP